Well... That didn't go as planned!

So last I checked in, it was Sept 2015. I shared that I'd just had a baby boy and was hoping to get back on track with my weight loss and would writing another post again soon. Yeah, that didn't happen. And now it's January of 2019, so about three and a half years later and a bit has changed. I managed to lose almost all of my baby weight ... and then got pregnant again. We welcomed our daughter in April of 2017. I gained all of the weight back... and then some. After I delivered her, I lost a good chunk, but I'm still about 100 pounds over where I want to maintain. I'm pretty close to where I started out when I first started this whole journey in 2008. 

Things have settled with the kids. Our son, Wyatt, is now three and a half and (mostly) potty trained. Our daughter, Penny, will be 2 in a few months and is learning about 20 new words every day and never stops talking, lol. It's been more of a struggle to transition from one kid to two kids than it was for me to go from no kids to one kid. Self-care has not been a main priority, but I'm ready for that to change. I am still dealing with some back pain from my second pregnancy. I've seen a chiropractor for about two years, but haven't made a whole lot of progress. I'm hoping if I can drop some weight and get back into working out, it will help strengthen my body and get my back in place too. 

My plan is to try to do what I did the first time. I'm going to start with counting calories and maybe even do Weight Watchers again. I also have a Beachbody On Demand account, so I have access to all of my favorite workouts and will be able to pick and choose depending on what will work best for my back. 

This time around will be more of a challenge because I now have to cook and plan for not only myself, but my husband and two little (semi-picky) eaters. They eat a decent variety, but when I lost the weight the first time, I stuck to a very simple rotation of foods and kept any tempting food out of the house. I still try to keep the tempting food out of the house, but it's hard when your kid comes up to you and says, "We should make cupcakes today!!!" I almost always have the ingredients needed for homemade sweets, lol. And my family is not as ok as I am to eat the same few meals over and over without getting tired of them. When I first start out, "less is more", so I find a few meals that work for me and stick to that. As I do better, I branch out. But it's harder when you're cooking for others. So that will be a new challenge for me. Also, as many moms will tell you, kids wear you out. A lot. So I don't have as much enthusiasm or time for standing in a kitchen for an hour making a delicious home-cooked meal  like I used to. I prefer something I can get out in fifteen minutes. The natives get a bit restless if I take too long, lol. And nowadays, cleaning is an all-day job. Over and over. Because 1 and 3 year olds make messes. It's basically their main job, lol. So the longer I cook, the bigger the mess they make. And after a day of working and playing and cleaning, I don't always feel up to making a big dinner.

So I've got a few more challenges, but I also have some things working in my favor. I have the kids now, which means that I am up and active more often. I can play with them and when it's nice out, we like to go to the park or go for walks or bike rides. I also have to be a better example for them. They learn from me and what they see me do. I want to give them a healthy lifestyle now so they can continue it when they get older. So that means I need to get my butt in gear. Our family is complete with the four of us. I won't be getting pregnant again. I am still nursing, but just once a day and that will probably be done soon too. I feel like I'm getting my body back. If I can get my back fixed, I should be good to go. 

I think 2019 is going to be my year to get back to feeling like "me"! I took a picture back in 2009 when I had lost all of the weight the first time. I want to try to recreate this photo in November as a 10-year comparison. So ... wish me luck! 

Oh, I forgot to mention. We also added a fur baby this year. Her name is Lucy, Lu for short, and she's about 7 months old. We don't know much about her background, but she is a bit nervous around the kids. When we first got her, right after Christmas, she was constantly between our feet, trying to hide under us. We've had her for a month now and she still gets a little nervous around the kids, but she also plays with them now. She's eating and drinking normally, she loves to play outside. She is the sweetest girl and she loves her squeaky toys. She's a bit of a bed-hog, but she also keeps my feet warm, so I'm ok with it. We are happy to have her be part of our family! 

What Am I Doing?

I thought it was time to get back in here and let you know what I've been up to with the fitness/nutrition/weight loss situation. 

This winter has not been great. I guess I've never really been able to lose weight in the winter though. I struggle with the winter blues/SAD and each winter seem to rely on a different coping strategy. Last year it was sudoku and reading to zone out. This year I have been sleeping a lot. Emotionally it has been better this year though, so that's good. But I've had huge cravings like you would not believe. And I've indulged in those cravings more than I should have. 

So, as much as I am embarrassed to say this (again) ... I am starting over (again).

I'm trying something slightly different, although not really. Make sense? lol

Credit: whole9life.com

I'm still going to follow the free Whole30 plan when I cook at home and try to make sure not to keep any ingredients or snacks at home that aren't Whole30 compliant. But, one of the rules of Whole30 is to not count your calories. I've tried that. I have followed Whole30 for the month twice now and I do great, but then I slip up a little bit and I go berserk and eat everything in sight. So this time I'm going to allow a few not-so-Whole30 compliant foods from time to time, but I will count the calories. I feel like this is the best choice for me at this time because I need some kind of middle ground until I get into a groove and get that motivation and determination back. 

So that is the nutritional side of things.

Credit: fitnessblender.com

As far as exercise, I am trying (once again) to complete the Fitness Blender 8-week challenge. I've talked about it a few different times, but so far haven't made it through completely. So I'm going to see what I can do about that. I am planning on working out 3 - 5 times during the week, taking the weekends off, and I will get through it as quickly, or not, as works for our life. Sometimes we spend all day working on the house, so I wouldn't necessarily feel up to a big workout after all that and I don't want to feel forced into it; I never do well when I feel restricted. So I'll just play it by ear and see how it goes.

I feel like I've started things and have gotten off track so many times now, but each time I feel like I learn something a little bit different. Kind of like dating, lol. You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince, ya know? : )

So I try all of these "diet plans" and I try different workouts and I decide over time what works for me and what doesn't. And I feel like I find something more sustainable each time. 

Why don't I just go back to what worked the first time? Well, as much as Weight Watchers helped me before to lose the 100 pounds, I can't afford a subscription at this time. Also, I don't necessarily agree with the plan completely now. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to take parts of it and use it to create a plan that works for me. I think that's the best I can do for myself at this time. 

2008 - 2010 (Down 100 pounds)

So today is Day 3. I started on Friday, February 28th. I stayed within my calorie limit and I completed my first workout. I will tell you that I am still feeling the muscles today and I'm happy to have had a small break before hitting it hard again on Monday, lol. 

One of the things that I realized already, is that I feel more capable of pushing the plate away even though it still has food on it. I know that I have a certain calorie allowance, but I can have more tomorrow. When it was all or nothing, I would feel like I had to eat everything all in one day so I could start fresh the next day. But with the plan I'm doing now, I know that I can have a couple of bites of a sweet and not blow the whole day. I can do it! And I'm excited! I haven't been able to really say that about my weight loss journey in a while. 

So I'm hoping to check in here more often and let you know how I'm doing. Maybe do some kind of weigh in ... but like I said, don't want to make too many rules because then I just get discouraged when I can't keep up. So we'll see. I wish all of you luck with your own journeys out there, struggling or not. It's not always easy, but it is worth it to get to be healthy!